The Victims Of Quodoushka Sex Abuse Workshops

Chapter 60 of Neophyte: My Life In A Sex Cult

Photo by Abbat on Unsplash

This is a chapter within my memoir, Neophyte, about my time in a harmful cult called the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. It is not meant to be read as a stand-alone post. To view all book chapters, click here.

The Deer Tribe is a dangerous cult. While they present themselves as a spiritual community offering healing and empowerment, their practices are rooted in manipulation, control, and cultural appropriation. Like many cults, they offer moments of genuine connection and personal insight — but these are strategically used to gain trust and draw people deeper into a harmful system. Readers are encouraged to read the entire book before forming opinions about the Deer Tribe.

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Chapter 60

Riley’s story was horrifying.

Because she lived in the UK, we spoke over Zoom. She was a lovely woman in her mid-40s, attractive, kind, and a pediatric nurse by trade. Riley had attended several Deer Tribe ceremonies over the years. I had met her once, at one of those events a few years earlier.

“I wasn’t attracted to him," she began. "I mean, I seriously wasn’t attracted to him. Not in the slightest way. But I wanted to attend the Q3 for the healing I was told it offered. And Susan Parker was really trying to sell me on this guy. So I agreed to be his partner. But I still struggled with the idea of being sexual with him. I even spoke to Annika about it, and she told me to ‘take charge of my pleasure.’”

Quodoushka 3 and 4 workshops were on a whole different level. They involved graphic sexuality, including fingering and sexual intercourse. Unlike Quodoushka 1 and 2, participants didn’t freedance but stayed with one partner for the entire workshop. If a participant didn’t have a relationship partner, the Q instructors would play matchmaker and help them find a partner for the workshop. These pairings were referred to as “medicine relationships.”

“He sexually assaulted me in the residence where we were staying before the workshop began," Riley continued. "After the workshop, I spoke to one of the Lineage Leaders about it. She expressed sympathy, but in the end, it felt like she placed the responsibility on me, like I should have been stronger or something.”

“Oh, Riley…” My heart ached for her. I didn’t know what to say. “Was he banned from enrolling in future Qs?”

“To my knowledge, he was not confronted or banned,” she said. “There was no conversation with me about him from the Q organizers. I was told to give him the benefit of the doubt as he was ‘trained.’ And I never told anyone else until I learned of Naomi’s departure. She was my apprentice guide, and I immediately decided to leave too. Then I saw your Facebook posts. So that’s why I reached out.”

“Would you feel comfortable sharing his name with me?” I asked her. When she did, my jaw dropped. I knew the man. He was a creep. And he was a Q regular.

Anger simmered in my chest. I couldn’t believe it. The Q instructors had paired Riley with this man, who assaulted her, and he was never confronted. He was never banned.

More messages poured in. Women kept reaching out, wanting to talk to me and share their experiences, ones they had never told anyone before.

One woman told me: “I have been approached multiple times by a Q instructor who wants me to enroll in her Quodoushka. I keep telling her ‘no,’ but she keeps trying to convince me to attend.”

A second woman said: “I too was directly lied to by Necea years ago. I asked her directly if there would be any nudity or sexuality in the Quodoushka workshop I was enrolling in. She told me ‘no,’ which turned out to be a total lie.”

A third woman recalled: “I feel like my Quodoushka experience was traumatic. I wasn’t made aware of what really happens inside the Quodoushka. It felt like a bait and switch, and then they try to get you to sign up for all their other programs before you leave.”

A man described his trauma: “Years ago, I attended a weekend neophyte training led by Irene. At one point, she insisted that I allow another neophyte to suck on my toes. I told her I didn’t enjoy that kind of thing and that I knew from personal experience having my toes sucked was physically painful for me. She kept insisting until I finally gave in.”

A fourth woman confided: “Honestly, my Quodoushka felt more like rape than personal growth…”

Many women described something along these lines: “I was pressured into doing an exercise I didn’t want to do. The instructors gave me ‘coaching’ and kept telling me I needed to stretch my growth edge and that my feelings were a block to my healing and pleasure. So I finally gave in and now I wish I hadn’t.”

One woman remained tight-lipped for weeks before she told me her story. Finally, she revealed her experience. “I was ordered by Irene to do an exercise with her husband in a private room during a Quodoushka. It felt like I was commanded to service him rather than experience a healing exercise.”

Another woman described a different kind of exploitation: “I attended a Q workshop taught by Necea. That weekend, I was approached multiple times by Andie who told me I was ‘special’ and that I was ‘chosen’ to work with her and Necea in their business. I agreed because she made it seem like we would work together closely and that I would earn a stream of income. And you know, I am a single mom with a special needs child. I can’t believe I was so gullible. I joined their business, which turned out to be shilling essential oils, and it was nothing like they said it would be. It was a big waste of money. I think it is extremely unethical to hold a sacred sexuality healing workshop that participants pay hundreds of dollars to attend and then try to recruit them into your pyramid scheme when they are in an altered and vulnerable state.”

Quodoushka isn't the only Deer Tribe event where women are harmed. One woman was severely assaulted at a SunDance. She told a few of her friends and got in big trouble for not keeping it to herself. Annika told her she was "in pity" and "contaminating the space." What was the consequence given to the perpetrator? He was told to dance to a tree.

Listening to their stories deepened my resolve to see justice.

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I was at war with the Deer Tribe. I reached out to everyone I had ever recruited into a Quodoushka or invited to a Deer Tribe event. I provided them with all the information I had and apologized for bringing them into an unhealthy and unethical environment.

I also became bolder in my Facebook posts. One day, I called them out point-blank:

“When a parent and child attend a sex workshop together, that’s not 'sexual healing,' that’s incest! But at Quodoushka—the 'sacred' sexuality workshops promoted by the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society—this kind of participation has been allowed and normalized by people who proclaim themselves to be 'experts.' Beware of predatory sexual 'healers.' I’ve been suffering for 7 years from traumas I experienced at the Quodoushka workshops promoted by the Deer Tribe (DTMMS).”

That post sparked a flood of comments from Deer Tribe apprentices and Quodoushka enthusiasts.

“It is NOT incest!”

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”

“Quodoushka healed me!”

Some comments felt like direct personal attacks. “Your vitriolic attacks against a healing path and people who have welcomed you into your community are pathetic.”

“This woman is clearly in emotionality and unwilling to take personal responsibility for her actions and choices. Now she is spreading hateful information about a beautiful ceremony that has helped thousands around the world.”

Reading comments like these was emotionally painful. I felt my body crashing, panic taking over. It triggered my fear and shame, and I wanted to delete my posts.

“Don’t delete them!” June said. “Tag me in all your posts. I’ll respond to those comments. I’m ready for a fight.” I did as June asked, and she went to battle for me.

In the weeks that followed, I continued speaking with Deer Tribe members through email, instant messenger, and phone calls. While not everyone had been personally victimized by a Deer Tribe event or leader, many knew someone who had. At the very least, they were unsettled and disturbed by the cover-ups and lies. Several of them assured me they were leaving the Path altogether.

Others, however, couldn’t seem to grasp that the Deer Tribe had done anything wrong. Even when I pointed out that Annika had intercepted mail I sent through the United States Postal Service—a felony—they were quick to jump to her defense.

During these conversations, I remembered something Maya Bishop, my former pipe teacher, had said more than once: “When you become a Sacred Pipe Carrier, you take a vow to never speak anything against the Path.”

And why would that be, I wondered. Why would a healthy organization expect its followers to give up their right to free speech—and, it seemed, their right to free thought?

That’s when it struck me. A clarifying thought surfaced from the deepest recesses of my mind, where it had been lurking for months:

“Fuck,” I thought. “The Deer Tribe is a cult.”

Go to Chapter 61.