The $2000 Shamanic Orgasm
Chapter 26 of Neophyte: My Life In A Sex Cult
This is a chapter within my memoir, Neophyte, about my time in a harmful cult called the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. It is not meant to be read as a stand-alone post. To view all book chapters, click here.
The Deer Tribe is a dangerous cult. While they present themselves as a spiritual community offering healing and empowerment, their practices are rooted in manipulation, control, and cultural appropriation. Like many cults, they offer moments of genuine connection and personal insight — but these are strategically used to gain trust and draw people deeper into a harmful system. Readers are encouraged to read the entire book before forming opinions about the Deer Tribe.
Chapter 26
There were days when the excitement of becoming a Deer Tribe apprentice and working with Necea wasn’t enough. I felt discouraged and unsettled. I couldn’t deny it; Quodoushka hadn’t healed me. I still struggled with intrusive memories of sexual abuse, and my body felt numb. I longed for the sexual freedom of the neophytes, Q instructors, and medicine people I interacted with at SunDance. Quodoushka had transformed them. Why hadn’t it worked for me? How could I become a Quodoushka instructor with these unresolved issues?
Though Necea was my apprentice guide, I felt shy around her, so I reached out to Mukee, whom I found friendlier and more approachable.
“Ooohhhh, that’s interesting,” she said as I described my feelings on a FaceTime call. “You need to go through Shamanic De-armoring. You likely have deep, unresolved pain. Shamanic De-armoring is a wonderful, transformative program led by Brian Hayes and Catrina Novak. It will free you completely from those old wounds.”
Mukee wasn’t the first medicine person to suggest Shamanic De-armoring. While working on the Arbor Crew at SunDance the previous year, I met a friendly Austrian woman. When I asked her about Deer Tribe ceremonies for healing from abuse, she immediately recommended Shamanic De-armoring. Even Matthew knew about the process.
“You pleasure yourself while people hold pressure points on your body,” he once explained.
Absolutely not! I felt completely terrified by the idea. But then Matthew mentioned that, according to his apprentice guide, Shamanic De-armoring was required to enter the upper gateways. If I stayed on the Path, I would eventually have to do it.
After speaking with Mukee, I visited shamanicdearmoring.com and scheduled a call with Catrina.
I had never technically met Catrina, but I had seen her at SunDance. She was a tall, beautiful woman from Norway and part of the Hereditary Lineage Leaders. She was also the wife of Brian Hayes, whom SwiftDeer had named as his successor. Deer Tribe people referred to them as the “nagual man and nagual woman,” the couple who would eventually lead the Deer Tribe.
“De-armoring is an incredible shamanic healing process,” Catrina explained to me during our call. “The idea behind de-armoring is straightforward. We all have a core wound, and in response, our body develops armor. The armor formed to protect us, but it also stifles our freedom of sexual expression and our life-force energy. Most people go through life completely encumbered by their armor. This is so limiting. When we are armored, not only do we struggle to experience full sexual pleasure, but we also find it challenging to manifest our dreams. This is why so many people remain in unfulfilling jobs and relationships. It’s because they are programmed and maintained by their armor.”
I listened, captivated. Her words spoke directly to my soul. Feeling hopeful and intrigued, l listened to her describe the de-armoring process.
“Our Shamanic De-armoring workshop is a two-week program in Phoenix. Sessions are only at night, so you’ll have free time during the day to work, hike, or do whatever you want to do. Every evening, we’ll meet at the Rainbow Powers Center for a medicine teaching, and then you’ll have your de-armoring session.
“We place you in a pod with two other people, and every evening, the three of you will work together as each of you de-armors. During your de-armoring session, you will lie down on a thick mat. One person in your pod will use their fingers to hold specific pressure points on your body, while the second person will hold special chiropractic equipment against you. We will guide you through specialized breathwork.
“The goal of all this is to stimulate your body’s energy flow and break up congestion, because it’s this congestion that holds your armor in place. Once you have your orgasm, your session is over, and you will then rotate roles. Do you have any questions?”
Dozens, I thought. Aloud, I said, “What if I can’t do it?”
“Can’t do what?”
“What if I can’t…orgasm?” An embarrassing silence followed my question, but when Catrina responded, her voice was kind.
“Well, of course, you will have to use your will. That is very important. But there will be at least three instructors and assistants there to support you. How does that sound?”
“I’m still worried.”
“I understand. It’s completely normal to feel that way. I’ll share with you a personal story. Before I de-armored, I never experienced orgasm. I actually believed I just didn’t have the equipment for it. But everything changed for me after I de-armored. Once you break your armor, you are truly free. You vibrate at a higher frequency, and you begin to move at the speed of spirit. I’ve seen so many people completely transform their lives after de-armoring. They leave jobs they don’t like and start businesses. Their creativity soars. It’s absolutely amazing.”
Images of a better life, one where I could travel and do medicine work, slid into my mind.
“We have people come from all around the world to de-armor with us,” Catrina continued. “We cap the workshop at twenty-one participants. I know you probably want to think it over, but we always end up with a waitlist. Right now, we have five or six spots open. As soon as you pay your deposit, it reserves your spot. And the balance just needs to be paid by the beginning of the workshop.”
After we hung up, I took a walk to think about what Catrina had said. The process sounded intriguing, and I definitely wanted to do it someday, but I felt unsure if now was the right time. I would need permission to work remotely for two weeks. I would need to come up with $2400, plus travel expenses. Later that day, I stopped by the Ashram and found Silver working in the yard. “What do you think?” I asked after recounting my conversation with Catrina.
“It sounds like a great idea,” he said. “But remember, the Deer Tribe people are very seductive.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“They love ceremony and will always try to convince you to sign up for their workshops.”
The next morning, I woke up feeling resolute. I wouldn’t go this year. It just wasn’t the right time. But then I checked my email and saw a message from Catrina’s assistant.
“Catrina is thrilled that you’ll be joining us this fall. She also wants to extend the early bird discount to you, so your registration price will be $2000 instead of $2400. We have a few spaces left and would love to have Matthew join our group as well. It truly is a powerful experience. Let me know if you have any other questions.”
Her email puzzled me because I hadn’t actually given Catrina a definite answer when we spoke. However, a seed had been planted, and I decided to explore whether I could make it happen. I took a walk in the woods near my home, praying to Great Spirit and my ancestors for guidance. I asked them to help me manifest the resources I would need to de-armor myself.
I came up with a plan. My first task would be to clear it with my boss. The retreat would require me to be in Phoenix for two weeks, and I knew I didn’t have enough paid time off to cover that. I accumulated about two weeks of PTO per year, most of which had to be allocated to SunDance. If she said no, I wouldn’t be able to go, and would take that as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be.
Later that week, I summoned my courage and walked into my boss’s office. I explained that I wanted to attend a two-week yoga retreat in Phoenix. The sessions were held in the evening, so I could work remotely during business hours. Would she be okay with that?
“Sure!” she responded immediately. “In fact, we’re breaking ground on a new hospital. If you did a site visit, I bet we could even cover your plane ticket, as well as some of your rental car.”
I couldn’t believe how easy that was. Thank you, Great Spirit, I whispered. Now, I had to figure out how to pay for it. I had just over $2000 in savings. I had also been overpaying on my student loan for the past several months. If I used my savings to pay my registration fee and just paid the minimum on my student loan, I would have enough for the workshop plus travel expenses.
“Will you come?” I asked Matthew that night.
“Maybe,” he said. I encouraged him to speak with Catrina, and after their call, he agreed to attend with me.
Matthew never shared how he found the funds, but somehow he managed to cover his registration fee and plane ticket. Because I agreed to visit the new hospital, my boss offered to cover my plane ticket as part of a work trip. We rented a room from a Phoenix apprentice and paid her $450 for 15 nights.
The ceremony cost us around $5000—a significant investment, but one we believed would change our lives for the better.
Go to Chapter 27.