Don't Tell A Soul
Chapter 20 of Neophyte: My Life In A Sex Cult
This is a chapter within my memoir, Neophyte, about my time in a harmful cult called the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. It is not meant to be read as a stand-alone post. To view all book chapters, click here.
The Deer Tribe is a dangerous cult. While they present themselves as a spiritual community offering healing and empowerment, their practices are rooted in manipulation, control, and cultural appropriation. Like many cults, they offer moments of genuine connection and personal insight — but these are strategically used to gain trust and draw people deeper into a harmful system. Readers are encouraged to read the entire book before forming opinions about the Deer Tribe.
Chapter 20
The energy of the house seemed different when we left the master bedroom. We had been instructed not to speak, so for the first time that weekend, not a voice could be heard. Instrumental music that sounded eastern, or at least eastern-inspired, permeated the space. I felt like I was back in church, an effect enhanced by the solemn expressions on the instructors’ faces.
The ceremony was happening in the dance room, where two rows of chairs and two rows of cushions had been arranged. At one end of the room, facing this seating arrangement, was a single chair covered in a beautiful Pendleton blanket: the Sacred Throne. I passed by the space and fell into a line that had formed down the hall.
Nikki and Jason, clad in their sarongs, stood on either side of the hallway adjacent to the dance room. They each held a conch shell filled with smudge and a large feather. The scent of burning sage, cedar, and sweetgrass wafted down the hallway, filling my nostrils with the familiar aromatic scent.
The men had formed a second line on the other side of the hallway, and one by one, all of us were smudged into the space. Nikki used her feather to fan the smoke over the women’s bodies, and Jason performed the same action on the men.
The men took their seats in the chairs, which formed the back two rows. Men are the protectors of women, which is why they sat on the outer perimeter. The women took their seats as comfortably as possible on the floor cushions.
Once all the participants had taken their seats, the music stopped. Brian walked to the front of the room and stood before us in his sarong that he had tied around his waist. He looked around the room, his mouth forming a perfect straight line, giving his face an intensely serious expression. Then, he removed his sarong.
“I am Brian Spinning Coyote, and I am a Pony Man,” he said. “What I love most about being a Pony Man is my playful nature that gives me loving and fun sexual experiences in the bedroom. I am Brian Spinning Coyote, and I am a Pony Man.”
Brian’s eyes traveled to the furthest end of the room. In a steady pace, his gaze moved across the rows of people as he made brief eye contact with the men first and the women second. This, Necea had told us earlier, was key to our healing.
“You will show yourself to everyone, claiming in a voice of power who you are,” she explained. “So I will say ‘I am Necea Keeps The Fire and I am a Wolf Woman.’ While you do this, the men and women will gaze at your vulva. Then, you will make eye contact with every brother and sister. This is how we honor each other and heal our genital sense of self.”
After Brian had made eye contact with everyone, he picked up his sarong and walked over to the side, continuing to stand naked, his sarong hanging from one hand. Jason walked to the front of the room, removed his sarong, and stood before us.
“I am Jason Lightning Elk, and I am a Horse Man. What I love most about being a Horse Man is my sensuality as a lover. I am Jason Lightning Elk, and I am a Horse Man.”
Jason met each of our eyes with his own and then walked to stand beside Brian. Josh took his turn next, but returned to his seat when finished rather than stand next to Brian and Jason. Each man individually stood before us and pronounced their anatomy type.
Once the men finished, Necea took her seat on the throne. Mukee and Nikki kneeled in front of her, blocking our view of Necea’s vulva. After a nod from Necea, they moved slightly off to the side.
“I am Necea Keeps The Fire,” she purred. “And I am a Wolf Woman. What I love about being a Wolf Woman is my erotic mind and the sound I make when I orgasm. I am Necea Keeps The Fire, and I am a Wolf Woman.”
Necea made eye contact with all of us, then settled on the floor right next to Mukee and Nikki. Mukee took the throne next, followed by Nikki and Valerie.
Now, it was time for the female participants to show themselves.
I waited with growing panic as woman after woman took the throne. Mukee, Necea, and Nikki huddled at the woman’s knees, blocking our view of her vulva, waiting for the woman’s cue to move. The minutes crept by. I felt impatient for my turn to come, wanting to get it over with, but also filled with dread.
When my turn came, I stood up shakily. My heart pounded in my chest. I walked to the chair and took my seat. Necea, Mukee, and Nikki immediately kneeled at my feet, beaming smiles at me. I focused on their faces as I spread my legs. Mukee held the mirror so that I could see myself. After a few seconds, Necea asked in a whisper, “Are you ready?”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded, and they moved aside. I lifted my head to look into the crowd. My left leg began shaking uncontrollably.
“My name is Seal Star, and I am a Fox Woman,” I said, surprised at how calm my voice sounded even as terror and tension raged through my body. I tried to remember what I had learned about Fox Women, but my mind drew a blank. “What I love most about being a Fox Woman is my ability to bond. I am Seal Star, and I am a Fox Woman.”
My whole body trembled as I made eye contact with all the men and women. Every face held a solemn expression. Some people looked almost catatonic.
With relief, I stood up and walked back to my seat. I tried to focus on relaxing my body as the rest of the women took their turns.
Once all the women had gone, Mukee, Necea, and Brian stood at the front of the room.
“We have a special song to play for you now,” Necea said. “We had it written especially for this ceremony. It is called ‘You Are Divine.’ Please, remain quiet and still and reflect on the healing experience you just had.”
Through the speakers came the sounds of a guitar strumming in a minor key. A flute sounded a few seconds later, and a woman’s voice sang deeply. The song was slow and soft. Brian reached for Necea’s and Mukee’s hands, who stood on either side of him. By the third round, they began singing along with the chorus, and many of the participants joined in as well. You are divine… You are divine…
Gradually, the song faded away. After a moment of silence, Necea cleared her throat. “There is one more very important thing we must go over,” she said. Though her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, it pierced the room.
“Do not. Tell anyone. About this ceremony.”
She remained quiet for several seconds before continuing.
“And the reason for this is simple. We have heard numerous times over the years from many participants who told us they would have come to a Q years ago, but they heard about this ceremony from someone and it scared them from signing up. But once they come, they are so happy they did. And so we have discovered there is just no way to explain the beauty, the power, the holiness of what you just experienced. This is why we need each of you to make a vow right now that you will never breathe a word of this ceremony to anyone. Because if you do, you could actually prevent them from receiving the healing their soul longs for, the healing they deserve. And I know that no one in this room wants to take on that kind of responsibility. Am I absolutely clear?”
Wide-eyed, all the participants nodded.
“So now, I want everyone to raise their hand agreeing they will keep this ceremony secret. Make a vow right now that you will never speak of this ceremony to anyone. Are we all in agreement?”
Automatically, I raised my hand and watched as the instructors looked around the room, making sure every hand was held high.
Once satisfied, Necea smiled delightfully.
“Good,” she said. “Now, it is time to break for dinner. Go enjoy yourselves! Be back on the dance floor at seven sharp. Nikki, please tell the participants how they should dress for tonight’s dance.”
Nikki strutted up to the front of the room, eyeing us seductively.
“Tonight,” she said in a sultry voice, “Come dressed in your Dominant Submissive Lover’s Mask. Bring your whips, bring your chains. Adorn yourselves in leather or lace. We are going to the edge tonight. Are you ready to surrender to pleasure beyond your wildest dreams? I’ll see you there.”
Go to Chapter 21.