Because Nothing Says Healing Like Erotic Theater With Your Mom
Chapter 43 of Neophyte: My Life In A Sex Cult
This is a chapter within my memoir, Neophyte, about my time in a harmful cult called the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. It is not meant to be read as a stand-alone post. To view all book chapters, click here.
The Deer Tribe is a dangerous cult. While they present themselves as a spiritual community offering healing and empowerment, their practices are rooted in manipulation, control, and cultural appropriation. Like many cults, they offer moments of genuine connection and personal insight — but these are strategically used to gain trust and draw people deeper into a harmful system. Readers are encouraged to read the entire book before forming opinions about the Deer Tribe.
Chapter 43
Necea asked me to demonstrate the Dominant Submissive lover’s mask after the Saturday night dinner break and dancing, which was just a few hours away. I would take on the role of the Dom, while Rafael, Andie’s paramour and an experienced neophyte, would play the Sub.
Since I had never done this before, Necea offered coaching during lunch to help me prepare.
“What we are doing with this demonstration is shifting the participants’ perspectives on what it means to feel pleasure. This is when I let them know that Dom and Sub roles are actually opposite of what the culture teaches: It is the Dom that provides pleasure and serves the Sub. And the Sub is in complete control. But it’s a fine balance, because even though they are in control, they have to surrender and let go completely of their need to control so they can receive pleasure—more pleasure than they ever thought possible! And, as the Dom, you still have to command the space.”
Necea was animated. She loved this teaching.
“Once, years ago, I even paid for a Dom session with a woman who runs a Dungeon! I said to myself, ‘I have to learn how to do this.’ And I learned so much from that session. I learned how to approach the room. I learned how to move my gaze…”
Necea gave me a mini demonstration and helped me craft a scenario that Rafael and I could act out that night. Every now and then, Andie, who seemed as excited as a puppy, chimed in with her own suggestions.
Andie’s enthusiasm was contagious, and I found myself laughing and smiling as we discussed the scene. But as the time grew closer, a sense of panic began to creep in. I was short of breath, and my legs and chest ached with anxiety. At dinner, I tried to negotiate my way out.
“I’m too nervous. I don’t want to do this. I think Andie should be the Dom.”
“You will be fine!” Necea smiled, attempting to pump me up. “You’ll be a star!”
Later, with only minutes until my demonstration would begin, I paced the kitchen, waiting for Necea to call me in. Walter stood next to me.
“What are you most nervous about?” he asked.
“My mother will be in the room. I don’t want to do this in front of her.”
“I know you feel uncertain right now. Many years ago, my son came to a Quodoushka. He was a freedancer and I was an instructor. Do you know what went on in my heart that weekend? I saw my son step into his absolute shining. Nothing is more wonderful for a parent than to see their child shine. Now your mother is about to see you shine. She is going to be so proud.”
A moment later, I heard Necea’s voice call through the door: “We are ready for our next demonstration!”
Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I stepped into the hallway door. I walked to the front of the room where Rafael sat waiting. I looked up and faced the crowd. Eager, vibrant faces awaited my next move. I saw my mom in the far back corner, her eyes dazzling. My left leg began shaking uncontrollably. Ignoring it, I began the demonstration.
Go to Chapter 44.